Lighting And Learning

Students experience Shabbat through a club that celebrates differences.

by Robyn Spector

There I sat shyly in the final row, a rickety wooden pew of the Upper West Side synagogue Congregation Ramath Orah. The red carpeting, the glowing light fixtures and the white lace mechitzah all added to a feel of the traditional. A young woman with wet hair and a dorm key attached to her bracelet entered late, greeted her friends and settled into an empty row one Friday evening last spring.
There were several aspects of the shul that I loved: the blend of enthusiastic voices, the liberal atmosphere and the contemporary emphasis within dvar Torahs. But sitting alone like this lady preferred was not of interest to me. I had never been to Ramath Orah before and I appeared to be the only

high school student in the women’s section. I felt awkward and out of place especially not knowing most of the prayers; I only began my formal Jewish education four years ago.
I soon realized I was not as alone as I initially thought. Last summer one of my friends confessed to me, “I really want to observe Shabbat but it is hard to observe when my family isn’t religious.” I started to recognize the growing need for some sort of Shabbat support group at my school, the Abraham Joshua Heschel School, where students could celebrate Shabbat together, integrate the significant Jewish practice into their lives and make educated decisions about how to observe the day.
As we began school this September I asked my friend Eugene Bardosh-Rabina, also in the midst of a religious search, to co-found the Shabbat Club with me. While the title often receives chuckles for its hokey ring, the club aims to experience different religious traditions within the comfort of a group and put pluralism into practice. An aim that seems to be anything but hokey.
“I really thought the club was a bad idea when I first heard of it but after going once I realize what a great way it is to spread the spirit of Shabbat,” remarked Rebecca Guenoun, a Heschel senior, who followed her comments with, “When’s the next get together? I want to make sure I can come.”
One Friday night each month the group collectively welcomes in Shabbat at one of the many synagogues on the Upper West Side and shares a traditional Friday night dinner at the home of a Heschel community member. The values in observing Shabbat — other than the notion that it is God’s will — are appealing to the typical, overscheduled high school student. It is an opportunity for rest and reflection, a time to bond with family and friends, catch up on reading and stray from the responsibilities of everyday life.
The club has rotated through a number of synagogues including Bnei Jeshurun, Ohab Zedek, Ramath Orah and the Carlebach Shul. In addition to providing company in shul, the Shabbat Club exposes Orthodox members to less traditional services and Reform members to more regimented, Hebrew-based ones. And of course, there are the services that are different to just about everyone.
In my mind, the most important lesson from shul hopping is seeing the diversity within each denomination. Ohab Zedek’s Kaballat Shabbat services are frequented by a largely young, professional, singles crowd. Ramath Orah, on the other hand, seems to attract a more spiritual, student population. And while it is clear that both congregations function quite differently they both label themselves as Orthodox.
As I have learned from Heschel’s several minyanim options, there are many people who do not relate to the notions of Shabbat or even Judaism through the vessel of prayer. Furthermore, people do not always attend the same shul as the Shabbat Club for reasons of religiosity (such as the use of microphones or musical instruments in services). In order to enhance the club’s accessibility, a Heschel student or teacher volunteers to host a dinner at their home following each shul immersion.
Having a meal together allows students and teachers to get a feel for a family’s Friday night Shabbat traditions and exchange thoughts about the synagogue visit. All participants, regardless of their shul attendance, are able to learn about the practices of others whether the differences are as blunt as a woman saying Kiddush or as subtle as the challah being cut verses torn.
Conversations around the table cover a wide range of topics but there is one rule: no talk of work. Dessert usually brings us back to the essence of Shabbat through songs and/or a dvar Torah from the host, a rabbi or one of the Judaic Studies teachers present.
The group does not revolve around a set roster of participants; rather it is open to whichever students and faculty members are available that month. While the club seemed theoretically engaging when I first thought of it, it certainly took a while to convince the student body of its merit. At our first get together this year 10 students and teachers attended. At our most recent gathering, we had close to 25.
“The fact that the Shabbat Club only happens on Friday nights means that I don’t have to give up my entire weekend to experience Shabbat like I do for school Shabbatons,” said Tammy Balazs, a Heschel senior. “I can eat challah on Friday night and do whatever I want to do on Saturday.”
Having attended the Ethical Culture Fieldston School for nine years before high school, I too am familiar with the struggle to balance religious practices with social and academic activities. The reason the club only holds programs on Friday night is to help students, including myself, address just that, the conflict of fitting Shabbat into our busy schedules. As Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel once wrote, “The problem ... that cries for a solution ... is not how much but how to observe.”
This month many members of the Shabbat Club and I will graduate from the Heschel School. The future of the club is still to be determined but the high school principal Dr. Ahuva Halberstam recently said to me, “We should find someone as committed as you to continue to bring the experience of Shabbat to the Heschel community once you graduate.”
My participation in the club exposed me to a wide spectrum of different customs and beliefs. While I remain unsure about what level of observance I want to practice, I have learned that the label of a denomination is not the tell-all of one’s Jewish identity. It does not matter how someone defines themselves, it’s their commitment to spirituality and tolerance for others that matters most.
It is my hope that other students and teachers at the Heschel High School will walk away with a similar message even if it begins with not judging a title like “Shabbat Club.” n
Robyn Spector is a senior at the Abraham Joshua Heschel High School in Manhattan.

Westchester Jewish Conference

Westchester’s Jewish Community Relations Organization